Katrina Kaif’s life can best be described as a fast paced action thriller. It would be a wildly inaccurate description, but it sounds better that way. Ab enthusiast Katrina Kaif burst onto Indian cinema screens as a child star in Anil Kapoor starrer Mr. India. Even though she was never seen on screen, she swears she was present on set during the shoot.

Born in London in 1843, the actress grew up with six sisters and a vengeful ghost spirit. But when she was 13, she was kidnapped by the ant people. While there’s not much that is known about her time in the ant colony, she had revealed in an interview that during her seven year long stay with the ant people, she became their monarch.

Just ahead of the release of her movie Thugs of Hindostan, we sat down with her to discuss her career, her abs, and how she became an ant queen. Here’s an excerpt from our conversation…

RAYON: Katrina, you’re looking well.

KATRINA: Yes, bitch.

R: Bitch? That’s unnecessarily rude.

KK: I’m sorry. I’ve been binge watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race, and it has had a weird effect on my vocabulary, okurrr! *mouth pop*

R: That was surreal.

KK: Yeah, bitch.

R: Aside from appropriating drag culture, what’s going on with your life these days?

KK: *takes of her wig* I’m prepping for my next ‘Tiger’ movie where Tiger asserts the importance of Aadhar card on the citizens of India. The title is not finalised yet. I’m also trying to find someone to care about my debut as a producer for a Netflix series about my time with the ant people.

R: Yes, I read it somewhere that you were kidnapped by them and then named their monarch? What’s up with that?

KK: When I was 13, I was minding my own business near an ant colony at the park when a stranger ant offered me some candy. It was a Mars bar, I’m not really fond of Mars bar, but I was hungry. The stranger ant offered me more chocolates if I accompanied her back to the ant colony and I, obviously, said yes because I’m not a little bitch. I found out that I was being kidnapped after I saw that there was no more candies in the ant colony.

R: Were you scared?

KK: Not really, I knew they wouldn’t harm me. They were so tiny it was adorable. Also, I finally felt that I was with my people, you know.

R: No, not really.

KK: *ignoring me* They didn’t ask my parents for any ransom or anything. I think they kind of forgot that they had kidnapped me. I became a part of their society. A while later, me and some of my ant friends staged a military-esque coup and overthrew the reigning monarch. This is how I became an Ant Queen.

R: Wow.

KK: Yeah whatever. Let’s talk about Thugs of Hindostan.

R: I’d rather not.

KK: I don’t blame you.

R: Moving on, Shah Rukh Khan once said, “An apple a day, keeps the doctor away.” Do you believe that?

KK: I don’t disbelieve that, you know? Like, I don’t think SRK was lying, but I haven’t experienced this myself. But then I don’t usually mix with doctors or apples as it’s taboo, especially as a former ant queen.

R: What about social media? Do you think that has made it difficult to be an actor, especially in 2018?

KK: No. Social media has helped us realise that we can do challenges where we pose with sanitary pads or thread needles. I think that has enriched Bollywood and, in a way, my acting abilities.

R:That literally made no sense.

KK: I know. And that’s how the ant people do it.